Sumarry:

Friday

I had a great time with my old pals.I missed them so much!We went raya-ing together.It takes a lorry to fit all of us.29 people were raya-ing together.Went to 7 house from 4pm till late.All of them are just fun to hang with.I wish to have a great time with them again on our chelet.

yesterday
Went to shikin(my cuzz) house cause there's open house.Then at evening went Rayaing together with my motherside family.later continue our raya-ing together again.




Releasing my stressness:
Till now I haven't ask forgiveness from my dad and mum to what I have done all this while.
You know why?I'm scared doing wrong to them again and it makes me a liar.
It's hard to be a good son for me.

I did everything my mom hates.For example, smokes,hardly do prayers,less respect to them.The worse is that I drink before.That really hurts them cause Alcohol can't be touched by muslims(our believes.).

On my parents side of family,I'm different.All of them are good human being.They are just an opposite of me.As what I say on the few pervious post,I still can't figure out why am I still acting like a child.Why can't I be like a real man towads them.

They could think that I don't love them but deep inside my heart,they're always there and whatever it is,they come first.

To tell you the truth,I don't even know who the hell am I!
Every night I kept searching for myself but failed.

And from these problems,love is just a faked feeling from me.cause if I can't show my parents true love,so do other people.So beware.I'm faked!I just wish that time could go back before my late granma pass away.I guess I'd stop growing my mentality when she died.

I'm so pathetic.
anyone heard me crying out loud?

<3
haily